Membership

APPLICATION: In order to provide safety and comfort for everyone, joining the club required a thoughtful, but not onerous, application — and a cost-free one. Every application received was carefully considered, and it was the club's policy to give each one a timely response.

WELCOME: Joining the club began, quite properly, with a small welcome experience. New members were welcomed with a welcome parcel containing a small black lacquered box with a brass pin and two tokens, plus a card and welcome letter, tucked into one of the signature small glassine embossed envelopes; the introduction letter read in part:

“The Dirty Gentleman Membership has been thoughtfully designed to curate both fine and social arts for our members. As a member, each month you will enjoy one of his delightful photographs to keep for yourself, or to gift to others with similarly fine taste; invitations to our quarterly events and thus entrance into a charming mix of lovely people working together in service to our elegant and naughty community; and access to enjoy some of the finer things in life, in the form of his discerningly selected objects.”

PINS: Included in everyone’s very first parcel was an official membership pin that all members must wear both when they join us and throughout the evening. This ensures all present know you are a member and may greet you as such. Each member was invited to bring one guest; this guest must arrive with you, or you will be asked to fetch them from the entrance.

TOKENS: Custom minted brass tokens were the currency of the club, and they were required for each member’s admission and their guest. Throughout the evening through these same tokens fine beverages could be procured. And they could be used to acquire pieces of art, including mystery and limited edition prints, large posters, or signature items, such as lovely European-manufactured stockings.

ETIQUETTE: One of the core values of the club was that proper manners and etiquette were best maintained in a community when most of the people in any given room have a common understanding of what is appropriate, acceptable, and welcome. Limiting the number of new guests and members to no more than one fifth of the room each time helped ensure that one's neighbors and others present modeled collectively optimal behavior for those new to the room.

There were still occasional missteps and conflicts, but a core tenet of the club was prompt, honest, and open-minded sharing of critique, coupled with an expectation of gracious receipt of such news from any who misstepped. Practice both in being clear about what is desired, coupled with practice and lack of stigma when corrected, helped breed a culture of thoughtful and open communication.

All members, and their guests, were expected to be mindful of whatever is consumed, to ensure that all stayed comfortably within a state that lent itself to polite behavior. All present demonstrated excellent social manners and ensured that they have permission before touching, embracing, or becoming overly familiar with another. When anyone made someone uncomfortable, a Welcome Agent, or Safety Agent was on hand both during the event and following to make note of any specifics shared and followed up afterwards. Privacy of those impacted was thoughtfully respected, and those who spoke up had control over the manner of how etiquette infractions were addressed. Specifics were shared even when members made modest missteps in manners, as of any of us can, in order to cultivate a culture of high standards, discerning interactions, and an appreciation for gentle corrections.